No Shirt, No Shoes, No Doubt!

I've noticed a trend in my short time on myspace. That trend is this: lots of dudes post shirtless pictures of themselves. That's a great idea and I totally back it. There might be no better way to identify someone as a screaming douche than the shirtless photo.

Another good one is the black and white shirtless picture. It's better than a picture of a guy with a sign around his neck that says, "I suck as a person." It's honest, you know. There are no surprises when interacting with a shirtless picture dude; it's going to be heinous and you know that going in. But with the black and white shirtless picture dude, there's a subtext of being not just heinous, but introspectively heinous. Shirtless dude lifts weights all the time; black and white shirtless dude lifts weights, but he does it while listening to Lao Tse on tape or something. He may or may not

Now, I don't want to be judgemental, but I am, so we're at an impasse if you disagree. But if you do, you probably aren't wearing a shirt right now.

I guess people do it to get chicks. That makes sense, I suppose. But are hot babes really surfing myspace all the time, comparing the abs of dude upon dude, searching for that Ryan Reynolds in the rough? Probably. At least, that's got to be the hope, right?

By the way, Ryan Reynolds is commonly known as the "Van Wilder" guy and very seldom as the "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" guy , and that's a shame. TGGPP--as I like to call it--was a heck of a show. I don't remember any of the specifics except that I thought the Girl was almost as hot as Ryan Reynolds and that I always finished watching the show with a twinkle in my eye and song in my heart.

So now Ryan is in Blade Trinity (which is pretty much what you expect) and he's getting married to Alanis Morisette. I think he forgot how psycho she was in "You Oughta Know." Do you remember that? She was all pissed because some dude took her necklace or something and he's all, "I don't have it" and she's all "Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide..." and he's like, "Whoa, girl! Here's your necklace."

I think men look silly in jewelry. That is, unless you're wearing some sweet bling bling in a shirtless black and white photo on myspace. Then you look rad.